Today we were suppose to have a surprise party for my dad's birthday. The phone rang at 8:30, and I just knew it was going to be bad news. It was my mom saying we had to cancel the party. My dad was bleeding and passing blood clots through his rectum. My mom had to confess to my dad our plans, and he said he was just not up to it.

I ran to my mom's house for moral support. My dad looks horrible. He hasn't been out of his hospital bed since yesterday afternoon. He is going down hill very fast. The nurse said the bleeding is just part of the normal process. I can't take watching my dad fade away. I just pray for god to have mercy on him and take him fast now. I will miss him so much, but I can't watch him suffer anymore.

I ended up with a huge migrane today, the worse I've ever had. Totally not how today was suppose to go at all.