Again...it's been way too long since my last post! I am a firm believer that if you blog, you should blog often, or people will stop reading your stuff! So please don't give up on my blog! I promise to write more often!
I just finished my last final yesterday. I got 95% in both classes! Yay me. I am exhausted thinking about next semester. It would be so nice to have free time again. The reason I am continuing my education, is because it has always been a personal goal of mine. Plus I want to set a good example for my girls someday. How do I tell them they need to go to college, if I never did? I know my dad would be super proud of me. He never went onto school, so I know he was proud of me and my siste when we did.
I had a melt down about my dad the other day. I made my grandma's peppernut cookies. The last time I made them was for the last Christmas my dad was with us. It's crazy how something as simple as cookies can send me into an emotional breakdown over my dad. The breakdowns do come less often now, but when they do, watch out. The dam breaks open, and it's hard to shut it off!
I think my dad came and visited me. I know that sounds weird. I started a prayer journal where I write down all of my prayers. I figure too often I say - "I'll pray for you," but then never follow through. This way, when I write down my prayers, I am truly praying for all the people I want too. Well one of my prayers went something like - please God, let me feel my dad's presence. Let me know he is with you, and continues to be with me.
Well it was a few nights later I woke up at 3 a.m. and just felt like he was there. Jason was out of town hunting, so it was just me in bed. The only way I can describe it - is the feeling you get when you know someone has entered the room, without actually seeing them. I just felt a presence. And I felt like it was my dad. I actually had to finally say out loud - "okay, thanks dad. Got the message loud and clear. I need to sleep now." Because I couldn't sleep because I felt like I was being watched. Ever since then, I've felt an inner peace.
This weekend we have Christmas with my dad's family. That is always hard. I have been a bad granddaughter and have not visited my grandparents in a while. It's so hard. I leave there crying. Seeing them in the condition they are, plus it just makes me miss my dad. I did make the peppernuts for my grandma though. Hope she likes them.
If I don't post before Christmas - I hope you all have a fantastic and magical holiday!