Door County

Jason and I had a wonderful time in Door County. It is amazing how a trip away from kids can reenergize you. I think taking time off occassionaly actually makes me a better mom. I couldn't wait to get home to the girls yesterday. I swear Macey grew. Her legs are so chunky now that she gets stuck in the bumbo chair!!

Door County is beautiful. Living in Wisconsin almost my whole life, I am almost embarrassed to say that I have never been there before. On Thursday we went to Penninsula State park and hiked all day. On Friday we did some of the winery tours, and toured the Cana Island lighthouse. On Saturday we just drove around visiting all the different towns, and went to some of the small shops. And of course we had so many fabolous meals. I think I gained five pounds! Among my favorite things was a dish called Mac and Beer Cheese. It was so yummy. I could have ate that for every meal. I also had the best coconut gelato ever. I definetly will go back to Door County someday - probably just for the gelato!

Tomorrow is 3 months since my dad died. Still feels like yesterday. I miss him and think of him everyday.

Anniversary

So this Saturday would be my mom and dad's 35th wedding anniversary. I know the day is going to be the hardest thus far for my mom. It's hard for me too, since Jason and my anniversary is on Friday. We would always celebrate our anniversaries together by going out to eat. Even last year we did.

Before my dad passed away, I promised I would take care of my mom. I promised him that I would send mom flowers on their anniversary every year. When I asked him what kind of flowers, he said - "you'll know". Today I called to order the flowers, and it tore me up emotionally. It surprised me that something as simple as ordering flowers for my mom would be so hard. But I could hear him, just as plain as day like it was yesterday, and the conversation about what kind of flowers I should get her. After I ordered them I left for lunch and had a good cry. I think it is so emotional for me because I am fullfilling a promise that I made to my dad.

I had the flowers delivered on Thursday, a couple days before her anniversary. I know that day will be hard enough. Hopefully by getting the flowers on a random day -they will make her smile a little bit too - along with the tears that I know will also be there.

As I mentioned before, it is me and Jason's 5th wedding anniversary. Our anniversary also falls on the three month anniversary of my dad's death. We are going to go to Door County for 3 days. I am so looking forward to it. It will be nice to have my mind occupied and not solely focus on what would be my mom and dad's anniversary. Jason deserves my whole attention for our anniversary. We still need to celebrate us too.

My little singer

How can this not put a smile on your face?? Make sure you turn the music off at the bottom of my blog!

Last night I was really sad. I told McKenna that she was going to go stay with grandma and papa (Jason's parents) next week. McKenna's face lit up and she very excitedly started to say - "my papa! my papa!" Then she said "Papa wake up". So I realized she was talking about my dad. She thought she was going to get to go by him next week. It makes me realize that she does miss him, and how excited she would be to see him again. Whenever we would go visit my dad, he would open his arms and she would run full speed and jump into his arms for a big hug. I'm sad I will never see that again.

I tried to explain to McKenna that papa isn't just sleeping. Especially since the funeral director told me not to tell her he was sleeping. But she doesn't get it. I tell he is up in Heaven, but she doesn't know what that means either. I wish life was so simple for me sometimes to not have to know what death and heaven is.

Mother's Day

This past weekend my sister and mom and I went up to Carter to the casino overnight. We had so much fun. A lot of laughter! We only cried one time! It was a little hard, because I could see my mom missing my dad. My mom and dad use to go there a lot together. I knew it was a little hard for her.

We had a wonderful Mother's day brunch. Cream puffs, chocolate covered strawberries, prime rib, mimosas. It was heavenly.

I was anxious to get home and see the girls. It was my first night away from them in a long time. We went for a walk as a family, and then Jason grilled steaks for dinner. It was such a great Mother's day. I am truly blessed to be able to spend it with my mom, and then my kids and wonderful husband.

More Rainbows

I saw these tonight as I was asking my dad for a sign - no kidding! Then I got my camera, took a few shots, walked inside to get McKenna, went back out, and they were gone.