Sunday, August 30, 2009

Heavy Heart

Tonight I have a heavy heart. I found out my Aunt Mary lost her long battle with cancer this afternoon. I am praying very hard for her family. My cousin Carrie has always been like a sister to me, and I wish there was more I could do to help ease her pain. I know grieving is a long process, and there is nothing anyone can do or say to make that pain go away. I know that it never really does go away, it just hurts less as time goes on.

Please keep Carrie and her entire family in your thoughts and prayers.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

McKenna's First Haircut

I brought McKenna to get her first haircut today. I brought her to a place called Snips and Giggles. It's the coolest place ever, and they cater especially to little girls.

McKenna was too scared at first to sit in the car or airplane chair, so she ended up getting her haircut on my lap. While watching Blues Clues on the DVD player, she sat really great. The girl just evened out the back of her hair and her bangs. Afterwards she styled McKenna's hair and put glitter in it. It was very fun! Then of course McKenna wanted to sit in the car chair and play! We got a certificate with McKenna's picture on it that says "first haircut" and it also has a lock of her hair on it.

I brought my niece Taylor along and she got a mini-mani. The lady even let McKenna pick out a color of nail polish and painted McKenna's nails. It was a very fun, special, girl's day out!! I wish they would have had a place like this when I was a little girl!!!

Friday, August 28, 2009

Caterpillar Breed Figured Out

Thanks to my friend on facebook, I think we have figured out this caterpillar to be a Robin Moth:

Look at the size of the moth! Gives me the heebie jeebies!!!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Weirdest Caterpillar Ever

Jason found this caterpillar on one of our trees! It is the creepiest, weirdest, most alien looking caterpillar ever! It's really creeping me out! If anyone thinks they know what it is, please let me know!

I found a link to this moth, but it doesn't look quite exactly the same:

I am not fond of the idea of having a huge moth flying around our yard!!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

When did my baby grow up?

I am amazed at the little person McKenna is becoming. I look at her and wonder, when did she turn into a toddler? It seems like just yesterday she was a little baby who really needed me for everything. Now she tries to be so darn independent!

It seems like every night I pick her up from daycare, she has added a new word or phrase to her vocabulary. Lately she has been very good at forming 2 and 3 word phrases. Last night Jason was eating watermelon, and McKenna declared " I want try it!" I was pretty amazed with this! She is also attempting to count to five lately. She does pretty good with one, two, three, but then gets a little mixed up with four and five.

She is also getting more involved with watching movies and television. Some of her favorites are Elmo, Dora, SpongeBob, and Barney (ick). To the dismay of Jason and I, Barney is actually McKenna's favorite. Not like I think Barney is a bad influence, it's just that we find his voice and songs very annoying. There have been mornings when I have woken up with different Barney songs in my head. I reassure Jason that she could be into worse things! At least he is educational, and it's not like she is watching television non-stop. She only gets to watch it when I am making dinner, and maybe a few minutes before bedtime.

McKenna is definetly a ham. She has her shy moments when she is surronded by people she does not know, but if she is in a room full of people she is comfortable with, watch out because she will put on a show! She loves to be the center of attention, and knows when she is being funny. She makes me laugh every single day! She is absolutely the most joyful thing in my world!!

I am looking forward to seeing McKenna as a big sister. I can't wait to see how she interacts with the baby. I am curious if she will be mad that she is no longer center of attention, or if she will be thrilled and want to help us out as much as possible. Only time will tell I guess! For now, I am just trying to enjoy every minute I have with McKenna. I know my life will be getting much more hectic in the next 2 months, and I will take for granted these quiet, simple moments I get with her.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Silver Lining....

I am trying to find the silver lining in the dark storm clouds today. Actually, I do feel a little more optimistic about my dad's catscan results. My mom and dad met with the oncologist today. The tumor in his spleen and in his lung did shrink, which is great news. He said that he can't be sure when the new tumor appeared, or the tumor where his kidney was, grew. He said that could have happened in the 3 week period between the catscan and when chemo started. Especially since it was so agressive. He is actually happy with the catscan results. My mom asked if we want the tumors to shrink or stay the same, and the doctor reminded us, there is only a 3 in 10 chance that anything is going to work for my dad. I hate being reminded of this.

He is going to continue on the same course of treatment for now, but has set up a second opinion for us in Madison. He said that if they want to put my dad in a study, that he should take that opportunity, but it would mean us driving to Madison for all of his treatments.

So that is all we know for now, but we do feel better today about the results then we did on Monday.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

My Birthday Wishes....

On my birthday - all I really want is for my family to be healthy and happy. That is the best present anyone could really ask for!!

Of course tonight is also the big powerball drawing. I wouldn't mind winning a little bit of that too! I would give money to my parents so my mom could retire along with my dad. I would buy him the best medical experts possible. I would send him to Nevada on an ATV trip, I would send him out west hunting, and would send my parents on a cruise.

I also would love to start a non-profit organization. To help parents with special needs children, their care and therapy, and the cost of their care. I also would love to be able to help people out that can't afford funerals for their children. I just want to give something back.

I also of course would splurge a little and build a house. Nothing fancy. Just something bigger then our 2 bedroom duplex. I would also upgrade from my 2000 Grand Prix with 191,000 miles and broken gas gauge, to something with all wheel drive, but again nothing fancy.

I am not praying to win the lottery, just hoping! I have realized all the "stupid" things I have prayed for over the years! What I really am praying for is my family's health. My dad just called and sang happy birthday to me. It was great. I want him to be around to sing happy birthday next year.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Not so good news...

We didn't get great news about my dad today. His big tumor grew another centimeter. He also has a new tumor under his ribs on his left side. That one is a centimeter big. We were so hopefull and optimistic. I actually had gotten my hopes up too much. When I hear the news I broke down - the first time since his diagnosis, and had to leave work. I just wanted to be with my mom and dad. When I walked into my parents house, I immediately just grabbed my dad and hugged him, and we both cried.

I am trying to look at the positive side. The chemo has slowed the growth of the tumors. It's only one centimeter. The doctor said there is still a lot they can do for my dad. There are lots of different chemos and options. I think my mom may take my dad down to Madison for a second opinion.

After me and my mom and dad had a good cry, we played Wii bowling. Had a lot of laughs, and a good time. I think that is the best medicine. By the time I left their house, I had forgotten why I was there.

We all just need to keep praying and thinking positive thoughts. Of course my dad has a stellar attitude and doesn't let on at all that he is scared or anything. In some ways I think that is good.

I'm just a little angry and bitter right now. Why do bad things seem to happen to good people? We believe in god, we pray, we do onto others as we would want done to us, we are sympathetic, we are good people! That's what makes me the most mad. I know in the big scheme of things - god has a much larger plan for us. And this too is in god's hands. I don't know what's worse - having your loved one die suddenly without any warning, or going through the agonies of knowing months or years ahead of time? I am trying to figure that out right now. I can tell you one thing, I value every minute with my dad right now. I try to observe every laugh line in his face, every look he makes, his feel of his skin when he hugs me, his voice when he tells me everything will be okay. I try to take it all in.

Ultrasound Results

I am estatic to announce that everything is perfect with baby!! The heart is perfect, and everything is measuring spot on. The baby now weighs about 2 pounds 11 ounces. This is a huge relief!!

Baby was very content just hanging out and napping the entire ultrasound. It was being a little shy, and had one hand covering it's genitals and one hand over the mouth. But we did get confirmation of the sex. I got to see it blink it's eyes and open it's mouth. It was amazing.

Just a huge relief, and now I feel like a can let out a sigh of relief, and relax a little the rest of my pregnancy! The echogenic focus was still on the heart, but the doctor said it is like a scar and will probably always be there, although it poses no problems. He said with this clear ultrasound and nuchal translucency test, it puts our risk of down syndrome back down to about 1%. Even though we will love this child no matter what, it's a big relief to hear the chances have been reduced.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

28 Week Ultrasound Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my 28 week ultrasound. I wish I could say I was excited. I am more aprehensive than anything. Is it going to be cool to see the baby - yes. But I am so nervous. When you have had bad experiences during ultrasounds, it sticks with you. For some reason, the bad experiences overshadow the good ones. Part of me just wants to not go to the ultrasound. Because then at least I won't have to face any bad news. But I know if there is something wrong, it would be better to know ahead of time. This is something I have to do.

I am thankful that my friend Kate from work is coming to my ultrasound tomorrow. I just don't want to be alone. In case they do find something wrong. I just want someone there for moral support. I am very thankful that she is giving up her precious time to be there for me.

So look back for updates tomorrow. My ultrasound is at 10:30. I hope that I have lots of good news and good pictures to share!!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Good News

Here is an e-mail I got from my mom:

Well here is what I can tell you for now. I do know one thing, they always want to keep us guessing and keep us on pins and needles.

When they reviewed the CT scan that Ron had done on Tuesday the radiologist compared it to he one that he had done in March. Not the one he had done in June. The reasons being that the June one was over at St. E's and not AMC (the whole insurance switch thing). So there is no comparison to report yet. The Doc had not looked at the report until we got in the room with him. He said the radiologist was lazy!!Any way, he could tell that the one in his lung shrunk. That alone has given us a glimpse of hope because if that one shrunk then you would think the others did.

So now they have to get the film/report from St E's before they can tell us any more. I asked him if we would hear today and he chuckled and said no. If we do not get a phone call by Monday with the results we are supposed to call there and they will let us know if it is completed yet, and if it is what the results are.

They say good things come to those who wait. If that is true there can be no other result but positive. So.... that is all I know for now.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Roll call!!

I would love to know who stops by and reads my blog!! Please leave a comment! Don't be shy.....

Monday, August 10, 2009

Many Prayers Needed

Please pray for my dad. He will have a catscan tomorrow to see if the tumors are shrinking. We are optomistic since his pain has gotten better. I keep visualizing the tumors getting smaller and smaller. We'll get the results of the catscan on Thursday.

Please pray for my aunt Mary who is battling bone cancer. She is not doing well and is back in the hospital. Please pray that god eases her pain, and helps her family and friends through this difficult time.

I passed my glucose test with flying colors!!!

Yay- no giving up my deserts!!!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Baby Onesti Update

I had my 27 week checkup today. I am happy to report that baby Onesti is doing well! The heartbeat was good, and I am measuring right on schedule. I gained 6 pounds since last checkup - eesh. Oh well. I am up a total of 24 pounds so far.

I did fail my glucose test today. That was actually quite a surprise. So I have to go back in on Monday to do the 3 hour glucose test. To me it is more an inconvience then anything. I am not worried. Even if I would happen to have gestational diabetes, it is so minor to everything I have already faced. But I guess I will have to give up my deserts for awhile!

I have my echo ultrasound of the baby's heart on August 17th. Please pray for us! My doctor assured me that it is just a precaution, and anything major would have probably been caught on previous ultrasounds. It is just a little unsettling to me. I am use to hearing bad news - that I just keep thinking, oh god, what is wrong this time around? I have been trying to stay positive, but sometime the fears consume me.

I can say without a doubt that this is my last baby. I can't go through the fears and worries of another pregnancy. It is so draining! I just keep praying that this baby is our happy ending that I feel Jason and I deserve so much. This baby will complete our family.

Monday, August 3, 2009

He Drew It

This guy that my sister works with saw a photo of my dad hanging on her desk. He said it was such an awesome photo and wanted to draw it. He gave my sister a copy for free, as long as he could post it on his blog. I just have to say - it turned out absolutely amazing!!!! Please check out his blog at: