Baby Onesti Will Be Here Tomorrow!!!

By this time tomorrow, we will be holding our new baby in our arms. It is so weird that I can feel it wiggling around in my belly right now - and in less then 24 hours it will be in our arms.

I am a big ball of nerves, excitement, and anxiousness - all wrapped into one little package. I didn't get much sleep last night, and I know tonight will be worse. I am taking today to get caught up on laundry and cleaning, going to McKenna's Halloween party at daycare, and getting her off to grandma's house.

C-section is scheduled for 7 a.m. I should be out of recovery by 10. I will have my laptop at the hospital, so I hopefully will be able to post the news and pictures on Saturday!

If you have a minute today, please take a moment to say a quick prayer for me and Jason and baby.

Just an ordinary Monday...

Not much new to update on. Which is nice. Means things are quiet for awhile!

My dad started his new Chemo this past week. So far it is making him feel kind of blah, and very tired. But so far he is handling it pretty well. I am bringing him into see the surgeon on Wednesday for a follow up appointment.

4 more days until this baby comes. It's funny how when you already have a little one at home, how different it is to be expecting a baby. I remember being so excited with McKenna I could hardly stand it. This time around I am not that excited yet. I think it's because all my emotions have been drained over the last few months. I know once the day gets closer, I will be more excited. Right now I am trying to focus on making the transition easier for McKenna, getting my house clean, bills paid, laundry done. Once Thursday night comes, I will be very excited.

The closer it gets, the more I worry about the baby's health. Everything on all of my ultrasounds looks great, I just think it is natural to worry - and I have reason to worry ten times more then the average person. I just try to lift all of my worries up to god, and remember it is all in his hands. Whatever he has planned for us, will be.

ABC's

Baby Onesti Update

I had my doctor appointment today, and my fluid level was up even more. Today it was at 13. So it looks like the baby will not be born until the 30th, unless I would happen to go into labor before that. When he checked me today I wasn't really doing anything, so I don't forsee going into labor anytime soon. It's good though - since I am such a planner, it will be easier having it at my normal scheduled date. Plus it gives me one last weekend to clean, grocery shop, and get ready for the baby. The next 8 days are going to go by soooooo slow!

There have been 2 confirmed cases of H1N1 at McKenna's daycare. I am praying she doesn't get it! I don't know what I would do! I don't know who would watch her when I was in the hospital. Plus I would just want to be with her!! So I am trying not to worry about it until I have to.

Baby Onesti Update

At my appointment last Thursday, they informed me that my amniotic fluid was running a little low. I had to go back yesterday for another non-stress test and ultrasound. My fluid level is back up to a normal level. Between 10 - 20 is considered normal. Last week it was at an eight, and this week it was at eleven. I have to go back on Thursday again, but as of right now it looks like everything will go as scheduled for the 30th.

I just want this baby out! I am really exhausted by trying to balance my emotions between being pregnant and being worried about my dad. I'm also very tired of worrying about the health of the baby. I just want it here and to know that everything is ok. We just all need a little joy in our lives right now, and something positive to focus on.

Dear Dad -

Dear Dad-

I wanted to write to you and tell you how much I love you and how much I appreciate the things you have done for me over the last 29 years. I don’t think you really realize the sacrifices parents make for their children, until you become a parent yourself.

The last four months have been rough on all of us. But it has got me thinking about all of the special times we have shared together. I think the one moment that I will cherish the most for the rest of my life is the day you got to walk me down the aisle to marry the man of my dreams. I’ll also never forget the father daughter dance that we got to share. I am lucky because some daughters never get to experience that with their dads.

I also will never forget how you rushed to my side when we knew Nevaeh was not doing well. You never thought twice, you just came because you know I needed you. It was such a comfort having you and mom there. I felt like a little girl again, just needing my mom and dad. I also appreciate the fact that you rushed to our side to move us back home. You drove four hours to help us pack and then another four hours back to bring our stuff back. Not a lot of parents would just do that for their kids. These are the kind of things that make me realize what a special, loyal dad you are.

I’m sorry I was such a rotten baby and kid. I wish I could take that all back. But you have to admit, you chasing me around the block to try to spank me, has to go down in the record book as a memorable moment. I always knew when I pissed you off to the point of no return. There was a certain look that you gave, and you would suck in air very slowly when you had reached your limit. I knew exactly which buttons to push.

I remember all of the camping trips we took, and all the good times we shared on those family vacations. I remember you teaching me to drive for the first time. I was so nervous that I set the cruise control at 25 while driving through town in Seymour and you yelled at me. I remember you dropping us off at school and beeping the horn in the buck mobile.

I remember how you could comfort me when I was so upset. Upset over the stupidest things that I thought were life shattering at the time. You have an amazing smile and ability to make people laugh. I think that is what I love the most about you. You taught me that it is okay to laugh at yourself, and it’s okay to smile and laugh when times are rough. That a sense of humor can go a long way.

I love how you were never afraid to cry in front of us. I love how you are so romantic to mom. I remember thinking if I could find a guy that was like you, I would be so lucky. Jason is a great guy, but no one can compare to my dad!

Above all I want you to know how much I love you, respect you, and are so thankful that you are my dad. Please don’t give up on the fight that you are fighting. Please keep your positive attitude and sense of humor. Above all, please heal and feel better soon.

Love-
Your little girl

Update

We did not get good news today. The onocologist has said that my dad's cancer has grown, and it's really not that good. He will be starting on the pill form of chemo next week. I just have such a mix of emotions right now. I feel defeated. I feel angry and bitter. I feel devastated and sad. I feel desperate. I know my dad is so depressed right now. I think he has lost his positive outlook and has begun to realize he will not be able to continue to do the things that he loves to do so much. I'm trying to get my emotions in check and my composure together. I have missed so much work lately with him being in the hospital, and with doctor appointment, but how do I concentrate on work? It all seems so trivial to what he is going through.

On another note, I had my doctor appointment today. My amniotic fluid is on the low side. I have an appointment on Monday for a non-stress test and another ultrasound. They'll decide after that what to do. The baby may be coming a week earlier then thought. I am trying to be excited for the baby's arrival, but it is so hard when it is overshadowed by the bad news and all of the concern, worries, and raw emotions I am going through over my dad.

10/13

My dad is home and doing good. He is happy to be in his favorite recliner again. He still has a lot of healing, and a lot of catching up on sleep to do. He had a home healthcare nurse come in today to check on his iliostomy bag, as well as draw blood. Now with the blood clot in his leg, and being on the coumidin, they need to check his blood levels every couple of days. He still needs to go back to the onocologist on Thursday, although we don't know if he'll get his chemo. I am looking forward to him healing and getting his smile and positive attitude back.

Today is 18 days until baby Onesti will be born. I have been so focused on my dad that I have not even had time to think about the new baby. I am starting to get very scared about the arrival of the baby. Just worried about having a healthy baby, worried about McKenna transitioning, worried about trying to juggle two kids. I know once we settle into a routine it will be fine, but I know I will have my hands full. I hope god grants me the patience and sanity to handle it all.

Last Friday the baby was measuring at about 6 pounds 5 ounces - which does not mean too much. I know their estimates can be way off. I was also dilated to 1 cm, which I know also means nothing. I have been having lots of braxton hicks contractions. I never had these with McKenna. They are quite painful! Sometimes they even wake me up at night. I time them all the time, and sometimes when I think they start getting consistent, they stop all together. I am so ready not to be pregnant anymore. Not so sure I am ready for another baby - but I guess it is a little too late for that! Just keep us in your thoughts and prayers over the next few weeks that baby is healthy in every way possible.

My Dad is Home

After a 17 day hospital stay - my dad is finally home!! He is resting peacfully in his favorite recliner.

Going Home

It looks like my dad will be able to go home today!! They are working on all of his discharge papers and procedures. Let's keep our fingers crossed!!

Dad Update

My dad seems to be taking some steps backwards. He said he did not sleep last night. They gave him some medicine for anxiety and to make him sleep, but it did the opposite. It kept him awake all night and made him see things. I hope that it was that he was exhausted and that is all. I know he is also very depressed, and he is loosing his positive outlook. He just wants to feel better, and go home. He has started to call his room his cave.

I just feel horrible. I went up there to visit him tonight, and left in tears. He looks like he aged 10 years since the last time I saw him. He looks as bad as he did before he went into surgery last Friday. If we could just get him out of there, I know his outlook would change. But then again, we want him well enough to be home.

My mom is also at her breaking point. She broke down to me on the phone this morning. I know how tiring it is going to the hospital day after day after day. I did it with Nevaeh for 6 weeks. It is truly more exhausting then working a 40 hour work week.

I am trying to remember to take care of myself and baby through this all, but it is so hard. I finally made myself a steak at 9:00 tonight after realizing I didn't really eat all day. It's so hard to see my dad like this. He has always been so strong, and so funny and positive. He just seemed so weak and quiet tonight. I know I have a long sleepless night ahead of me. My mind is wandering, and my heart is heavy.

They are giving my dad a different sleeping pill tonight, so I hope he gets some well needed rest and feels better tomorrow. They are aiming for him to go home on Monday, but it seems like every day his stay gets pushed out a day or two. I told him tonight that the light is at the end of the tunnel - to just hang in there for a few more days.

All I can do is pray for him to get better soon, and for god to give my mom and dad the strength they both need to get them through this. I ask anyone else that is reading this to do the same.

McKenna and Mariah

McKenna's bestest friend got to come over last night and we had a pajama party! Here are some pictures and video!!

Update on my dad for 10/8

Doesn't look like my dad will be going home today or tomorrow. :o(
They needed to get less then 200 cc's out of his GI tube in order to remove it. They got 250 cc's. So the tube will have to stay in another day. Also - his legs were a little swollen, so they brought him down for an ultrasound, and found he has a blood clot in his leg. So they will now start him on some coumidin. All this after last week them being so worried that his blood wouldn't clot for surgery. It's such a guessing game.

More then anything I know he just wants to go home! But he is where he needs to be right now. We want him better before he goes home!

Happy Birthday McKenna

My baby is two today! Where did the time go? I can still recall the day she was born perfectly! The weather, the anticipation, the hapiness! The last two years have been very challenging, yet very rewarding! She is the greatest joy to have in my life! I cannot remember what life was like before her. I look forward to watching her grow up!

Update for 10/7

We don't think my dad will be coming home yet tomorrow, but hopefully on Friday! Today is his 12th day in the hospital. Poor guy, I can't even imagine. I know he is in good hands, and it is where he needs to be right now, but I know he will be one happy guy when he can go home!

The doctors had to hook his GI tube back up yesterday. His system cannot tolerate anything without it. He is also on a heart monitor, and when he fell asleep his respirations went down into the 40's. So the nurse ran into see if he was okay, and it really scared my dad. He was afraid to sleep after that. I think it is just a little bit of sleep apnea.

Other then wanting to come home and get rid of his GI tube, my dad is doing well. He is hopefully on the road to recovery and feeling better.

Update for 10/6

My dad is doing well. They've had to unclamp his tube a few times, as he gets indigestion and the hiccups. He will not have his tube taken out today. He did however get to eat some jello and chicken broth (which he said tasted like a steak). The doctor said my dad's blood work showed he was very malnutritioned. They have been giving him liquid nutrition, and hope to continue his chemo next week.

The surgeon told my parents that if my dad would not have had surgery on the day he did, he would most likely have died. That is very scary. I am so thankful that god gave us more time with him. Especially with this baby coming very soon. I want my dad to meet the baby more then anything. Especially since I believe god gave us this baby at this very moment for a reason. I think god wanted us to focus on life instead of death, joy instead of sorrow.

Update for 10/5

My dad is doing good! He is eating lots of popsicles! They clamped off his GI tube that comes out of his nose. If he can handle that and not get nauseous, they may remove the tube as early as tomorrow. That would be one more step to my dad being able to go home!!

On a side note, I am so thankful for awesome co-workers. They made me a pan of lasagna, garlic bread and pumpkin bars for me to bring home for dinner. They said I shouldn't have to worry about dinner for one night.

Kate Eastman and Stacy Bouchard - you guys rock. I am so thankful you are my friends and co-workers!!!

Dad update

My dad is doing good. He said other then the insicion pain, he feel 100 times better! He is still on an ice chip only diet, and getting fed through an IV. He'll be able to start to eat a light diet once they hear bowel sounds. He sat up in a chair today, and even took a short walk. He can't wait to go home!! We are hoping that he will be able to go home on Wednesday. I continue to pray that the chemo he is on keeps doing the job of keeping the cancer at bay. We want and need him around for so much longer!!!

Update on my dad

My dad had surgery yesterday to repair his colon. The surgery took almost 5 hours. The tumor where his kidney was, grew onto his colon, puncturing it. They had to remove a six inch portion of his colon, then reconnect it. He does have a colostomy bag on, but they hope he will be able to have it removed (one more surgery) within a month.

They did remove some of the larger kidney cancer tumor and will biopsy it. They said for now my dad's colon is cancer free, but he does have a lot of cancer still in him. I guess you always kind of hope that once they open him up, they tell you they diagnosed him wrong and its not cancer. But it still is.

I pray for a fast, painless recovery for my dad. I didn't get to see him last night, as he was still in recovery at 7 p.m. But I am going to call up there in a little while to see how he is doing.

I can tell you one thing, yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life. It really sucks having to see my dad, who I love sooooo much, go through all of that pain. I just want to see a smile on his face again. They told us the surgery would be a minimum of 2 hours, but we never expected 5. It was a long, long wait. Your mind starts to go places that you don't want it to go. I don't think I've had so many tears in one day in a long time.

Complications

My dad has a perforated colon. They are not sure why. They said the colon could have caused the abscess, or the abscess could have caused the perforation. Still waiting for answers...again. The surgeon was not going to get back in with the results until like 9 or 10 tonight, so I finally left. But what this means for my dad is another surgery, and possible a colostomy bag (lets pray not). The poor guy just wants to feel better and go home!I am really tired of being on an emotional rollercoaster. We get good news, then bad, then worse news. It is amazing that I have not gone into labor yet due to shear stress. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, I will update as soon as I can.

Complication

So this morning they realized my dad's lungs are filling up with fluid. They think they may have punctured my dad's colon when they did his procedure yesterday. That is all I know right now.....