Dad Update

My dad seems to be taking some steps backwards. He said he did not sleep last night. They gave him some medicine for anxiety and to make him sleep, but it did the opposite. It kept him awake all night and made him see things. I hope that it was that he was exhausted and that is all. I know he is also very depressed, and he is loosing his positive outlook. He just wants to feel better, and go home. He has started to call his room his cave.

I just feel horrible. I went up there to visit him tonight, and left in tears. He looks like he aged 10 years since the last time I saw him. He looks as bad as he did before he went into surgery last Friday. If we could just get him out of there, I know his outlook would change. But then again, we want him well enough to be home.

My mom is also at her breaking point. She broke down to me on the phone this morning. I know how tiring it is going to the hospital day after day after day. I did it with Nevaeh for 6 weeks. It is truly more exhausting then working a 40 hour work week.

I am trying to remember to take care of myself and baby through this all, but it is so hard. I finally made myself a steak at 9:00 tonight after realizing I didn't really eat all day. It's so hard to see my dad like this. He has always been so strong, and so funny and positive. He just seemed so weak and quiet tonight. I know I have a long sleepless night ahead of me. My mind is wandering, and my heart is heavy.

They are giving my dad a different sleeping pill tonight, so I hope he gets some well needed rest and feels better tomorrow. They are aiming for him to go home on Monday, but it seems like every day his stay gets pushed out a day or two. I told him tonight that the light is at the end of the tunnel - to just hang in there for a few more days.

All I can do is pray for him to get better soon, and for god to give my mom and dad the strength they both need to get them through this. I ask anyone else that is reading this to do the same.