I called my parent's house last night and my dad answered the phone. He sounds great and in good spirits. Then it hit me how much I am going to miss his voice and his jokes he makes over the phone. Everytime I call and I say "what are you doing", he'll say "talking to you." I am going to miss him so much.

My mom is bringing my dad to his final onocologist appointment tomorrow. She is going to set up Hospice for my dad. God, I hate that word. Hospice is a word that I have been dreading for almost a year.

We've decided to baptize Macey. My Pastor has graciously agreed to baptize her at my parent's house so my dad can be part of it. Jason's parents are down south for the Winter, so I wanted their blessing before doing it. I wish everyone could be there. They did give their blessing, and I am so thankful that my dad will be able to be part of one more milestone in my kid's life.

I think my sister and my mom and me are all a mess emotionally. I know I am. I just feel like crying all the time. Lately I cannot sleep, because when I close my eyes, all I think about is my dad and the weeks or months ahead.