Wedding

This weekend McKenna gets to be a flower girl in Jason's cousin's wedding. It is very nerve wrecking, and I am hoping for the best outcome possible! My little girl is just so stubborn, I have a hard time coercing her or bribing her to do anything if she doesn't want to do it.

In preparation for the wedding, I have been playing our wedding video to McKenna to show her Taylor all dressed up and walking as a pretty flower girl. It was really hard watching the video. I haven't watched it probably in two years - but it was really hard seeing my dad. But it was good too. He looked so young, vibrant, and healthy. Him giving me away on my wedding day, is one of my favorite memories of my dad. It was his kiss on my cheek that set me off bawling before walking down the aisle. It's funny, in the video, walking down the aisle out of the church, my dad did a little jig dance. That was so him. It actually made me laugh. My dad, the twinkle toes.

I miss his smile. That's the first thing I noticed on the video. I said outloud - "there's that beautiful smile I miss so much." God I miss him. Everyday. Life will never be the same without his smile, guidance, or encouragement.

I think I will not watch the father daughter dance tomorrow night. I know I can't handle that yet. That is something that I hold so close to my heart. I remember that dance so vividly in my head. We danced to Wind Beneath My Wings. At least I have the fond memories to always cherish forever. And a wonderful video with my dad smiling.