This week has been hard on so many different levels. There are two things that are really weighing heavy on my heart right now. I can't write about one, as I feel like I would be divulging things that someone doesn't want divulged yet.
The thing that is weighing on my heart and mind the most, is that Sunday is Father's Day. I have tried to approach it like it is no big deal, that it is just like any other day. I will just try to make it extra special for Jason and my kids. But the fact of the matter is, I am really, really sad. This is the first Father's Day that I don't have a dad. No dad to call and say "Happy Father's Day". No dad to buy a special card for. No dad for me to buy a gift for. And I find that all of the Father's day sales, commercials, etc. are just a slap in the face, and make it hurt all the more. It's a constant reminder that my dad isn't here, and for the first time in my life, I am not celebrating Father's day with him.
I find myself bawling as I write this, something that doesn't happen very often. My crying spells are more infrequent now, but when they happen, it seems like they last longer.
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