Test Results

I had my ultrasound for baby Onesti on 6/9/09. Everything looked great - but the doctor did find an echogenic focus on the heart. It causes the baby no harm, and usually goes away on it's own. Basically it is a calcium deposit. I was told that this is a soft marker for down syndrome.
Even though it is considered a "very soft marker" and my nuchal translucency scan came back fine in the first trimester, I freaked out and opted to have the quad screen blood test done.

Usually for my age, they put the odds of down syndrome at 1 in 270. Because of me having a child with down syndrome, they put my odds at 1 in 100, or 1%. I took the blood test and had to wait 6 very long days to get the results. Once I did take the blood test, I almost immediately regretted doing so. Here I am again, stressing out over anticipated results.

I thought the results would come back a little high - but I was thinking more like 1 in 75. I got the call on 6/15 that the results were indeed high for down syndrome - with a 1 in 25 chance. Of course I took the news bad. Just because I was so angry that this was happening to me again. I felt shocked and blind sighted again. I also did not know what I should do - if I should have the amnio and find out for sure, or just let it in god's hands. I was dreading telling Jason.

Jason's reaction was completely awesome. He said that we should not get the test. He said we are going to love this baby no matter what, and we can't change the outcome, so why take the test? I agreed with him - even though I know it will bother me for the next 4 months not knowing.

We've decided to tell a very select few about these results. We really don't want people to worry and that to overshadow this pregnancy.

I am just putting everything in god's hands. Whatever happens, happens. Whatever god wants for us - we will get. If it is down syndrome, this is what god obviously wants for us. I've really had to dig deep into my faith the last few days. But I feel at ease with our decision not to test.

I have a big giant note on my white board at work that says - Worrying is like paying a debt before it's due. 96%!

I am really trying to focus on the 96% chance everything is okay!!!