News

We did not get the best news about my dad last night. We were told that the spots on his liver, spleen, and lung, has grown significantly larger since the last scan. We can now assume that it is cancer. Nothing else would grow that fast. Unfortunately we won't know more until he meets with the onocologist on Friday.

It's amazing how your life can change in a matter of seconds. How your outlook on situations can change in a heartbeat. I have been preparing myself mentally for the worst. We all have. We all have known in the back of our minds that is was most likely the case. I held it together in front of McKenna and Jason last night, but then this morning had a mental breakdown. I am not ready to lose my dad yet. I want him around for my kids! I want my kids to get to know the most wonderful man ever. The man that I have had the privilege to call my dad.

It makes me sad to think of the unthinkable. I know there will be a time that my parents won't be there anymore. I can't fathom it. We have been such a close knit family. When I think about it, my chest gets tight, and I can hardly breathe. I've always been daddy's little girl, and my mom has always been my best friends. I wish everyone could be as lucky as me - growing up with the 2 greatest parents ever.

I am just scared. Scared to hear the prognosis. Scared for the months ahead. Scared to see my dad weak and vulnerable. Just scared. I have been trying to pray to god this morning for the strength to handle what comes our way. It is so hard to have faith in god at times like this! This is when I call upon the lord the most, but sometimes it is really, really, hard. I know sometimes what we want, is not what he has planned for us. I know that he does not give anyone more then they can handle, but it is so hard.