Yesterday we celebrated Christmas with my dad's family. It was hard. There was a lot of tears. It was fine until Christmas Carolers from our church came in and sang Silent Night. My mom always cries at Silent Night - but of course it was way different this year. I looked at my mom and grandma and sister crying, and no matter how hard I tried - I couldn't hold it together. The rest of the day was really hard to compose myself. Any little thing set me off. Especially Christmas music. I think it brings back the many memories of Christmas with my dad. It brings me back to when I was a little girl. When my daddy was there, and all seemed right in the world.

I am looking forward to Christmas - but I also can't wait until it's over. Unfortunately Christmas is one of the last "first milestones" we need to make it through without my dad. The only thing left is his birthday and the year anniversary of this death.